


Of All The Things I Wish I Told You

by Beckitaa16



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Eggsy also talks to Harry sometimes, Eggsy is sad and visits Harry's grave a lot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:56:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckitaa16/pseuds/Beckitaa16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is gone, and Eggsy realizes there is so much he wishes he told him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of All The Things I Wish I Told You

Eggsy visited Harry’s grave every Saturday, so long as he wasn't busy with a mission. He would bring a few flowers and blanket; after placing the flowers on the grave he would lay down next to it, and spend a few hours there with him. He would talk to Harry about all sorts of things, anything from his most recent missions to how JB was doing.

Sometimes Eggsy would only bring up happy memories, and he would leave the graveyard with a slight smile on his face. Other days Eggsy would focus on the negatives and, more often than not, would end up crying at some point. This was one of those days.

Eggsy knew today would be a bad day. Just the day before he was supposed to be finishing up a mission in Greece. Get in, get the information, get out. It was supposed to be easy, but guards had seen him pocket a flash drive and when they started to approach him he tried to run out before anything else could happen. But, of course, it was never that simple; one of the guards had pulled a gun and shot at him. He was fine, his suit had done his job at protecting him, but one of he bullets had ricocheted off him and lodged itself in a party goers head. The situation reminded him too much of Harry’s death and this time it was undeniably Eggsy’s fault. 

When he sat down next to Harry’s grave he tried to be calm, he took a shaky breath and tried to relax, but when he looked at the grave he quickly started to tear up. And it was right there that he broke down, “It was all my fault Harry. If I had just been a little faster, a little sneakier, if I had made sure nobody saw me then maybe that woman wouldn't be dead right now” Eggsy stared at Harry’s grave, focused on the part that said ‘he was taken too soon’. “I’m so sorry I couldn't save you Harry, maybe if I hadn't failed that test or if I had been able to keep you from going to Kentucky. It’s my fault your’re dead right now”

He was just about to cry at this point, the tears in his eyes were making his vision blurry. “Your grave is right; you shouldn’t have died then, you should still be alive. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to save you.”

“You’re gone, and there are so many things I wish I told you”.

“I wish I told you how great of a mentor you were, you can’t be blamed for my failure. You were an amazing mentor, you made me the agent I am today.”

Eggsy has to pause and take a breath. He wipes his cheeks and continues on, “I wish I thanked you for all you've done. You got me out of going to prison, you took me in and trained me, you turned my life around, you made me a better person. I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me, and now I won’t be able to repay you for it”.

“There are so many things I wish I told you before you died. I should have been more thankful, I should have appreciated you more. I should have done more to keep you safe. Maybe if I had done something, anything, then maybe you would still be here. I’m so sorry I let you down Harry”

It was like a weight had been lifted off him, like admitting this had made him feel better. It was to a grave nonetheless, but it was still an admittance. As he packed up his things and prepared to leave, Eggsy remembered one last thing he wanted to say.

“I wish I told you I loved you, but now you’re gone and you will never get to know that. And it might not matter now, but I love you Harry”. And then Eggsy walked back to his car and drove home. 

He felt better but at the same time worse. If he cried himself to sleep that night, well, nobody would have to know about that.


End file.
